What. The. F***?!!?

Okay, im writing this hot off the press (still pretty drunk / mostly shell shocked!).

Basically, today I went busking this afternoon, got a bus to perth, which was randomly free, because a Ship crashed into the railway bridge, and went to see my friends Grez and Reece from Red Cliffs, which was cool...

Whilst there, i met one of the two 'Fucking German Girls' who id met in Melbourne in September, and mostly forgotton about, but who hadnt forgotton about me. So i slide in with a few of my german chat up lines...."Deine Mutter Arbeitet auf den Fishmarkt. Als Gestank" (Your mother works down the fishmarket, as the smell). and Deine Mutter Schwetze Mayo. (Your mother Sweats mayo").

Then I told her she needs to teach me some good german, because I only know the BAD stuff, and she says "No. I LOVE the bad stuff. Ill teach you how to say "I want your ....... Across" Okay, theres kids reading. Suffice to say, it was a massive come-on, but i didnt have any money to go out, so I half ignored it, and then the rest of the guys got me far far FAR too wasted on their beer for me playing a few songs over and over on guitar.

So Long story Shorter, I dont know who the random number is who goes on about some real fun, but random stuff on my phone. Sorry, who is this, im fairly drunk. Dont get you. "Who was talking to you earlier, who likes talking dirty". STILL no idea, because im proper f**ked. "GERMAN GIRL????? LIKES TALKING DIRTY?????? MET LAST YEAR!!!!".

Yes. As an utter retard, and massively properly drunk I STILL have no idea, although after several hours of not drinking I missed out on the opportunity. Which properly sucks. Im such a Gimp.

Because of that, I miss my last train home, and get myself pretty disorientated. But im in some park nearby the train station, where I can wait the few hours until the trains start running again.

THEN a bunch of abbos come along, one old bloke, who was really cool, and pretty good at the guitar, playing it upside down, Hendrix Stylee. And a load of his family (he was the uncle) who were idiots. So this bloke has my guitar, and is playing it pretty well, but the rest were idiots, but drinking their stuff, and were talking, so everythings cool...

...then this irish bloke called Patrick comes up, and starts chatting too. Then I need a piss, and patrick wants to get some Buckfast, which he has loads off, as some crazy business deal to sell back to people at a profit, so we sort of combine efforts, and I stupidly leave my guitar with the abbos, and Patrick leaves.

I go for a piss, then realise that leaving my guitar with them is a stupid idea. So go back, and the guitars gone. Patrick gets 2 bottles of buckfast. By the time we've come back, theres no sign of my guitar or ANYTHING. which royally sucks, because thats my only source of income at the moment. So Patrick decedides to help, and we start going up a street to see if we can find the people. Then two of the "family" pop out of the woodwork. Patrick is a bit ahead anyways, and im behind thinking "okay, this could be dodgy, whats happening here". Next thing I know Patrick gets bottled on the side of his head, and these two t*****s run off,because i was too far back to be of any help. By this time we've drank a bottle and a half of buckfast, which didnt really help. But tasted nice. And was pretty much the only trade off for my guitar. I say nice. By nice i mean 'like death'. :)

So there this Patrick bloke is bleeding, there I am, not knowing whats going on. So we walk back, and then a few people who knew patrick walked past, and come to help us. At which time I realise all my stuff is in the guitar case (money phone, etc), so i now have NO money. AT ALL. And then amassive bouncer type members of the family come out of the woodwork, and start shadowing us.

Im Bricking it, because my phones gone too. (I found the Sim Card in the gutter but not the phone), because were blatently about to get killed. We dont, because. I dont know why. I think it might be because ive got a photo of the Abbo family, and one of them gave the address so i could send it all to the police. When i get my phone fixed. so ive got enough information to incriminate a few of them. but they all get in real close, and then fuck off. Im still bricking it.

Then after going down to the end of this side street we were sort of forced down with some people from the original hostel, they fuck off. But this blokes back where he started with my guitar, going 'here it is. I was just looking after it for you'. Which slightly restored my faith in humanity. My moneys gone, and so is my phone, so ive got to work double hard today to pay the rent.

I get my train stop wondering if it was really necessery to have such a massive dump of karma for missing out on some obvious sex. I mean, i deserved it, but WTF??!!!

What. A. Fecking. Night.

Im going to bed. Ill worry about now having to busk 2 days money in -3 hours later. Because I can.