LAAAST NIGHT, dOO DOO...

I went out for all you can eat chinese dumplings for $12 dollars yesterday, after finding $20. brought a $6 bottle of wine to wash it down with.. :P Got quite pissed (but obv. not that drunk, as i had work the next morning :( ). Went to another cool bar, with stuffed animals on the walls. Like Emus, Giraffes, Roos, that sort of thing. Cool place. Had a few more pints. Went back to get back to the hostel earlyish (11pm) for work.
Got on the tram. Fell asleep. Im supposed to get off at stop 34. I woke up at 52, and had to walk ALL the way back. So i got in at bloody 1am, and i had to be up at 630am for work.

The word i think im looking for is 'retard'

ERmm....Karl Kenneddy?? Im really scraping the bottle of the barrel of australian sayings now! :P

Hey, Just a quick update...They've slowed down a bit because im working mon-sat at the moment to get some money together, which has severely limited my fun potential. The week before last I ended up going over the Espy Bar on the saturday night for a few beers, and watched an Irish Punk band, which was pretty cool. A bit like the Dropkick Murphy's. But better.

Lol, it was an interesting night. I had quite a lot of a bottle of Southern Comfort before i went out, so i wouldnt have to buy any drinks. Which sort of worked. I only had one drink whilst I was at the espy, but dropped / knocked over about 4 whilst dancing. So i ended up spending $30 anyways..bugger!

Then on the sunday I got up, and went over to Melbourne Museum...That place is really really cool. Its quite interactive, a bit like the science museum for adults. There was a cool part of it, called Body and Soul, and it was all about the mind, dreams, illusions, the effects of drugs on the mind...loads of stuff. They had these booths with people talking about various problems. There was one quite cool thing, where you see things as coulours. So the Letter 'H' for example would be dark blue, whilst a high C on a guitar would be a...i dont know, fiery orange. So that was pretty good..

Then the last weekend just gone, I went out for a few drinks in the Cherry rock bar, whilst watching an ACDC tribute band (its their 30th anniversary). Got quite a few shots etc brought for me, so i was pretty drunk. Walked the 6-7miles back from town to my hostel, but only sobered up halfway, which. Well. Didnt help. I was like 'what the hell am i doing here? where am i? And how the hell did I get here?.

So that was cool. Then the next day (after spending a large proportion of it in bed recovering from the mother of all hangovers) it was Christmas in July, where the hostel cooked everyone a massive roast dinner, and there was free nibbles, and mulled wine, and beer, and pinatas. It was really good. The roast was DEFINATELY what i needed.

Then yesterday I did the open Mic night again, and won not only an hour on the internet for free (for playing), NOT ONLY a Boost Chocolate bar. NOT! ONLY! free nibbles and punch. But also a ticket for the melbourne film festival. Which is pretty damn cool. Im just about to see what im going to go and see...

So yes, a pretty good week. or two. :)

Flaming Galahs! (Im going to need some help thinking up some more neighbourisms here people!)

I just realised, I havent updated this in bloody ages!

Last week, on the Saturday, I met two great people from the hostel...had quite a lazy day, but did go and see the penguins...erm. Well. Having a bit of an orgy actually. Its thier mating season. That was something special...easily the best sight so far in Australia (In fact, sod it. I may as well come home now, Ive seen everything I need). They were only little penguins. But theyre awesome...and they DO sound a bit like pingu, so i was very impressed with that.

That was cool. Then in the evening, I went out with some of the people from my last hostel, who are travelling up the East coast. We started off in a strip club (quite a nice strip club. Better so because it was free), because one of the girls who was leaving worked there, and wanted to say goodbye to her mates there (SHHHCCCCAAAWIIING! JACKPOT!), then we went off to a bar that played Soul and 60's RnB. Tres cool. Then We ended up going back to the hostel, watching Finding Nemo (Yes. I AM 10 years old, thank you!), then I crashed out there for the night..

The next morning I went down to Victoria Markets to get some cheap meat and veg for the week (Seriously, that place is awesome. they practically GIVE stuff away) then we went and had a BBQ with Paul Welland and Phoebe (his Girlfriend) and their mates.

It was quite funny. We were all shopping in the market, and Phobe was like 'can you get some sausages and patties (thats burgers) for the barbie?' to which paul, the happy, go lucky, eager to please boyfriend goes 'sure honey!' and runs off. So me and Phoebe finish our breakfasts, Paul comes back with a bit of a sheepish look on his face'

Pa: 'erm. I MAY have made an impulse buy.'
Ph: What have you done? You havent overspent have you?
Pa: Erm. Not exactly. I just might have brought $30 of steak. But i had do. It was for a tray full. And there were these other men looking at it, and i just had to go for it! It'll keep!

Paul, the legend, had only found 30lbs of Prime Rumpsteak for nothing. I mean, these steaks were each 2-3" thick, and the size of a bbq. They were amazing! So we ate some of them on the bbq. And some sasuages. And (for woody) NO couscous. :( But nothings perfect.

Then we finished off the beers and watched some footy in the afternoon with his mates, then just chilled out, and went back.

This week has been a bit less interesting. Ive been in bed with the man-flu. Monday i didnt feel great, Tuesday I felt awful. I basically spent the entire day in bed. Yesterday, I felt equally awful, but thought 'i NEED to sort this out!'

So i ordered myself a Chilli Con Carne Pizza (Yes. It IS as awesome as it sounds. Massively unhealthy, but soooooo nice! 3 types of meat, Capsicoms (thats peppers to you guys!), JAlapenos, and 6 different types of grease...laaaaverly!. Then i washed it down with some free mulled wine (Gorgeous! It was a winterwonderland night yesterday, which was good), and some fruitcake, and went to bed at 9pm.

When I woke up at 6am I felt like a new man. Ive got a Cough, and a bit of a runny nose, but my flu has been cured. So that makes it 1-0 to my alternative medicine diet. (Booze and pizza). Oh, and I cooked myself quite possibly the nicest shepherds pie on monday. It was awesome. So apart from being declared clinically dead from tues onwards, its been a pretty good week!

Ill keep you posted!

Fair Dinkums

So Ive decided to do my next installment before i forget everything Ive done!

Last week was pretty cool...Ive been mostly living off the hostel again! On the tuesday I did the open mic night again, this time with my wonderful assistant Lara, and sang a few songs, got some free punch, and another hour on the computers, which was pretty cool!

Then on the wednesday It was a Free Cheese and wine night, which was awesome! I mean, seriously, I need to go back in time, find the man who invented cheese, and kiss him. :P There was some pretty good wine too. ALSO, I managed to win a neighbours night ($40) down the local pub, by thinking up the best descriptive word for the wine I was drinking.

I decided to go with flambiguious'. (V. Meaning "to win a free night out, whilst watching Karl Kennedy and Paul Whatshisname from neighbours perform at the pub round the corner, instead of actually paying for anything! :P)

so yes, that should be pretty cool! On top of that I went out yesterday to this pretty cool rock bar called the cherry tree or something, that was awesome. despite having probably the cheesiest rock / metal band playing.[ They were called something ridiculous like 'dont rape the cat' or something, with someone that looked like a f***ed up billy connelly on guitar(as if hed never left the glasgow docks), and alexi sale gone wrong singing. well. I say singing. Its hard to describe without making up another word, so im going to use contagilibulous. He was INCREDIBLY contagilibulous. Which was funny..


Anywys, Ive got 3mins of internet left, so i guess ill leave you guys for antoher few days!

Melbourne -> all that s*3@. Part 2.

Then I chilled out here for a few days, then on sunday I cooked myself a roast dinner. Well, Id actually organised it so 9 people were going to come down, and I was cooking for them all. So i went out down the markets, and got a bucket load of food for no money, including 3k of beef (ive only just finished eating it all) for $9. Get in!

So anyways, I cook it all, then half the people at the hostel forget about it. The other half are feeling ill, so dont make it, and it turned out to be Me, Paul (Welland),and his girlfriend Phoebe having all this food! It was bloody good though. We had Beef, Roast Potatos, Carrots, Peas, Sweetcorn on the cob, home made gravy, and home-made yorkshire pudding. It was bloody gorgeous! Then we went and saw england have their a*** handed to them on a plate by germany at the football down the pub, and went home...

Apart from that Tonight im doing the open mic again, Tommorrow theres free cheese and wine (get in!) and then thats about all I have planned. Lol. ALL i have planned. Thats enough to last most people a month i think! :P

SEe you all later!
Chris

Melbourne -> one month in. (yeah. I really have given in trying to find funny titles now. :P)

Hey, just thought id give you another "quick" update, as its been bloody ages!

Again, ive not been up to a massive amount. Just working mainly..ive done a few bits. Just after the last blog (that would be the weekend, as i was demolished in the week), Ive just been mainly out throwing a few shapes (/ air guitarring / (ha!) Break-dancing) down a few pubs...

Last week was pretty cool though. Ive moved into a really cool new hostel in St Kilda, where they have a secure carpark, so i can now take my work car home, which is saving me about a million tonnes of hassle every day! It also means im even vaguely human in the evenings now, so ive actually been enjoying myself in the week...wooohoo! Especially as the have lots of free stuff here..

Tuesdays here they have an open mic night. Its pretty cool. They have a couple of guitars, a keyboard, and obviously a mic. Oh. And two buckets of free punch, and a shit load of nibbles. Yes. I know. Heaven! :P

So I got up, played a few songs (starting off with Fuck her gently, to break the ice as noone really knew me back then! This week im going to do faith I think! :P) And a few of my own songs. That was cool, Its a very musical hostel this one, so I got to know everyone there, which was good..

Then Wednesday I went out and met up with my friend Lara at The Little Creatures bar on Fitzroy St, brunswick. which is probably one of the only nice brewerys in Australia. Well, their bar anyways. It was a really nice place actually. It had a good atmosphere, so we started off in there, then went over to this other bar, which has $4 pizzas mon-thu. I had a prawn and lemon one, which was friggin' awesome. (and another beer). Then we ended up finishing off in some other bar which had some tramp in playing a bit of music, but with the most incredible soul-voice ever. Bizzare,. but bloody cool! It was a really nice night!

Lol. unfortunately because i went to that, I ended missing the cross-dressing party at the hostel, and more free beer, but never mind! :P

Anyways, Im almost out of internet time, so im going to sign off and carry this on in another stage..

Melbourne. -> The quest for more comical titles. In fact, sod it. Think up your own, and insert here! (And THATS what she said)

Hey, its been a few weeks, so i thought id give you all an update. Its going to be a pretty short one, as ive mainly been working, and if i started going into that, then youd all be dying of boredom after 10 mins...

Basically, last friday I went out for 'one quiet drink' with a mate from the hostel in sydney, which turned out to be his last night in sydney. So i had a few more, then we all realised that this was going to cost a fortune. So we all brought a big bottle of Whisky to drink a bit round my mates mates house...My mate then poured us a few drinks. It turned out that we finished the bottle in 3 drinks.

So you can tell what kind of direction the night was going to take. I was pretty damn wasted. My mate Dan was prety damn wasted. His mate was totalled. So he took us out into the middle of bloody nowhere saying that there was 'the best club ever' there. Which turned out to be an abandoned office block. The only pub was a really dodgy looking place that looked a bit like Sandy Upper Schoolhall.

So suffice to say, we all went back. At which point Dans mate passed out, and that was that. So me and Dan jumped out on Brunswick street. We ended up at a really cool club. It had a really cool funk soul band playing until god knows what time, then after that it played old school rap. It was pretty damn awesome.

So on the saturday I was pretty much dead, but did get to the Moving Picture Museum later on, which was really cool. They had all sorts of stuff. Like a place where it drew cartoons on your shadow when you moved, and talked etc. Old school projectors in smoke filled rooms making some really really cool patterns etc. AND it had every make of console / computer, marking the rise of video games. So from the ZX spectrum / the 1st one. where you could play pong, to Commodore 64's to Amstrads etc. and you could play all these old school computer games. Which was pretty cool, if not more than a little geeky! :P

Then on the sunday I went to have a look at a few houses (WAY too expensive) then met up with my mate Lior for a beer at this really cool bar. Bar open i think it was cool. It was like a grungy bar downstairs, and had some bands on upstairs. So we headed up, to see what was on. Turned out to be the worst, yet Funniest band Ive EVER seen. It was halarious!

It was billed as a 21 peice All girl (all rock) band. So we figured that even if the music was s*** then we'd have something good to look at! :) So were watching them, thinking 'how the hell are they going to pull this off?' . I mean, they had eveything. 3 guitars. a bass. 2 drum kits, accordians, violins, chellos, glockenspeils. everything.

So everything goes quiet. They get counted in. Then EVERYONE just plays theyre own peice of music. Something completely different. So what you have is a wall of dischord. While this..erm. Music? is going on, one woman is just saying, in a dead tone 'you are lucky. YOU are lucky. you are. lucky.'. WHILST shes doing this, this other woman is just WAILING at the top of her lungs. AIIIIEEEEEEYYYYYA AIIIIIIIEEEEE AIIIIIEEEEEYYYYAAA'. Me and Lior just looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was the funniest thing ive ever seen. They finished one song. Didnt have another, so just did the same thing again slightly higher...

It was almost as good as the crazy old dude on the fiddle at last years winterwell festival. But not quite. :P

Then on the wednesday, I met up with Paul (Welland) and grabbed a vietnamese meal at this place. $8, and you had a soup, and you could just put all this stuff in it. Whatever you wanted. IT was pretty cool, really filling, and a really good night!

This weekend obviously its all about the football. World cup starts, so im watching the game at 4am this morning in the bar downstairs. Before that I might go around a few bars tonight. The great thing about Melbourne is you have all these really cool little side streets. And in them you have all these doorways, and you head through them and theres these really really nice bars / coffee shops / resteraunts etc.

So i might head over to some of them. in other news, Ive found another hostel with secure parking for my work car, and also an open mic night etc downstairs, over in St Kilda. So I might book myself in there. It sounds pretty damn musical AND i wont have to get the sodding train every morning either. I dont know how people put up with commuting. IVe done it for 3 weeks, and thats it. IVe had enough,.

Anyways, thats about it so far. Ill keep you guys posted. Ha. How short was THAT post? :P